We Were Never Meant to Heal Alone

Written By Jenny Cornejo

Our world teaches toxic independence. We’re conditioned to do everything on our own—or within the confines of the nuclear family. And what I’ve learned on my own journey is this: when I stay isolated, I sink deeper into the problem. I become consumed in the swamp of sorrow.

I remember feeling like I was drowning while trying to do it all alone, without being witnessed in what I was navigating after my now ex-husband’s head injury. I wore the “I’m fine” mask constantly, because the people around me didn’t have the capacity to sit with me in the depths of what I was experiencing. And every time I said I was fine, more of me crumbled on the inside. The life of the marriage—and the possibility of children—died suddenly in the accident.

As the marriage continued, I became more and more depressed, and I even contemplated suicide. My so-called “safe” and “comfortable” life felt unbearable. I was getting high and watching other people live on TV while each day felt like Groundhog Day. I knew I couldn’t keep going that way. Something had to change.

I tried the church route, going against what I knew to be true for myself. I became deeply involved in student ministry for over four years. At the same time, I joined a women’s circle outside the church—and there, I experienced something radically different: genuine, authentic community. A space where all of me could be witnessed, and there was still room for more.

When I awakened and knew I needed to leave my marriage to save my soul, the church community I had built over seven years disappeared overnight. But the circle of women stood firmly by my side, reminding me that I was loved and brave. I received further confirmation of what Spirit had already told me—that what I was being guided to co-create on my family’s generational land could not exist within the structure of a church. I also began releasing my mind’s need to fully understand why, and instead learned to trust what I was being guided toward.

In being deeply held and witnessed in all my shades of being human, I discovered who I am—and what I am here to offer the world. I want other women to experience this too. And I remember how terrifying it can feel to be fully received in our wholeness—especially when that has not been our lived experience.

In the Wildflower Garden, we don’t look at you as something to fix. We know you are already whole, and that you carry your own answers—when you slow down enough to hear them. Whether we realize it or not, we all hold grief for the village we never had. We were meant to grow up with 40 pairs of adoring eyes on us, and most of us were lucky if we had 4–12.

What I continue to witness in the healing power of community is the African concept of Ubuntu:
“I am because you are, and you are because I am.”
We might also say, when I heal, you heal—and when you heal, I heal. And by healing, I mean remembering your wholeness.

So I’m curious: what has trying to heal alone created for you?
And are you open to trying a new way—one that invites you to dance on the edge of the life you’ve known, and soar into the unknown with other WILDflowers doing the same?

You can begin by joining us in circle twice per month.
And if you’re longing for deeper, more consistent support, Rooted to Rise group coaching begins 3/13, offering weekly guidance and community.

Upcoming circles - Space is limited:

May you remember it is your birthright to be deeply witnessed and supported. 

Jenny Cornejo
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Holding Truth, Imagination, & Love in Complicated Times